I was scrolling through my Facebook News Feed the other day, somewhat shamefully as I contemplate canceling my account at least a few times a week, when I came across one of those posts that are borderline too long to even consider reading (I was very busy with my bed head and PJs). A few months ago, I decided to act on every intuitive "nudge" without question, so when I felt that little brew in my belly, I decided to "See More" before even reading the first line. Besides, her Facebook presence had been intriguing me lately, despite having said goodbye to her in third grade when I left private school for public, and never crossing paths again. She had been posting these really beautiful photos of her crystal collection laid out in intricate patterns on a wooden surface, and those, coupled with her short, quippy laugh-out-loud one-liners made for a unique and IMO quite likable "friend."
Back to "See More." It was longer than I had originally thought, but heck, I decided I was in it to win it as I reflected on many a wasted minutes—no, hours—reading posts like, "Why Anna Kendrick is hilarious and her 35 most life-changing tweets" (I mean, she is...and they are. But still.). So, I read on and saw that it was intense, and I mean that in the most beautiful, vulnerable and humble-not-attention-begging way. It was about her personal discomfort in the human form, struggles with the acceptance of life as it is, wishing at times to disappear altogether. It was real and raw and brave. I was touched not only by the words that I related to so deeply, but even more so by her courage to put it all out there for the Faceworld to see/judge/respond. I remember thinking, Could this possibly be easy for her? It seems so effortless. Was it effortless? Do her crystals give her superpowers?
After some but not too much thought, I decided to “Like” and comment—something brief but affirming—and then private message her in more depth. I told her how much I relate to her struggle and how I admire her for being so open and vulnerable, something I resist a lot but am always making efforts to lean into (Amen, Brené Brown). How people like her make it easier for me to continue on this path. I had no idea if this would mean something/anything to her; after all, she did have magical crystal powers.
It turns out that when she first posted it, she freaked out and took it down, anxious about the lack of immediate response. This was so personal to her. And scary. She hesitated. Another brave soul, one who saw the original post, reached out and matched her courage with courage, sharing her own personal experience with some of those same issues. With this incredible communication, connection and support, the original post was then reposted, and so it met my bed head…and my so-yearning-to-be-as-brave-as-her heart.
We sent a couple of kind, positive and encouraging messages back and forth, and through some additional comments and posts over the next few days—yes, my love/not-so-love relationship with Facebook continues—and just this morning we ended up on an actual real-life voice-on-voice phone call. With the original intention to discuss a common professional interest, we ended up talking for over an hour about things like self-love, body image, creativity, substance abuse, integrity and shame—much of which I rarely even scratch the surface of with many of my close friends and family.
After some laughs about fears of over-sharing and then mutual affirmations and a verbal agreement to always skip the BS and jump right into the “real deal,” we lovingly concluded the call and agreed to stay in touch. One brave, bold move and a couple of heart-to-heart high fives later, a beautiful old/new and real friendship was born. As was this blog—vulnerability at its finest (for me, at least). I guess I am putting my money where my mouth is.
I think I’ll stay on Facebook for a little while longer, she thought with a smirk. And while I do believe that crystals have magical powers, I know that this Superhero did it all on her own.
“Show up. Be Seen. Live brave.” —Brené Brown
Crystal cred & real-life Superhero: The magnificent Annika Nagy
